Labelling someone as a narcissist often stems from superficial interpretations of pop psychology, popularised by amateur online therapists. Although their hearts may be in the right place and there is value in trying to understand others’ behaviours, most of this content portrays the other person in your story as ‘the abuser’ and so by default you become ‘the abused’. This is actually quite disempowering because you are not encouraged to look at how your own trauma is affecting your romantic compulsions.
Most humans spend a lot of their lives attempting to know others, and it is usually only when we suffer confusing rejections in various forms that we notice that we might be missing a few details about our very selves. If we are brave enough, and astute enough, we may embark on the odyssey of self-knowledge.
Talent is no longer a prerequisite for fame. You only need to tune into any mainstream radio station to notice that what is apparently popular these days is mostly devoid of any musical ingenuity; diversity (in the mainstream at least) appears to be disappearing, lyrics have been thrown together with minimal effort and the end results are at best catchy, at worst inane… so why is this happening and what does it mean for the future of music?
Dark and heavy feelings are teachers, but they can quickly become habitual. Ego loves to latch onto heavy feelings and feed them with stories until they become a form of distorted thinking. Distorted thinking can quickly become a mindset, and as thoughts lead to feelings (and vice versa), this experiential loop can lead to poor health…
I lay awake in bed at almost 3am, feeling exhausted but unable to sleep. Something was bugging me but it was like a vague notion that I couldn't grasp. The feeling that there is something to get to the bottom of is not a stranger to most people; yet because it comes with a sense of confusion and discord, it is easier to drown out the notion with the unceasing chatter of the mind than turn inwards and bust through the years of intricate inner-construction to find the root…
Guilt is often thought of as a transient emotion that arises as a result of some definable event or other within which we made an error, generally at the emotional cost of another, or perhaps to the detriment of the environment. It is even (and perhaps more frequently) extended to the self, thanks to habits and tendencies deemed destructive by society, and especially close peers.
Once we start subscribing to only one teaching or teacher, we become exclusive. We tend to forget that the message is more important than the messenger. When we pledge allegiance to say, only Buddhism, we dismiss new information and look to this one teaching for all answers. Can you think of any person or teaching, historical or otherwise, that had the answer to absolutely everything?
Cognitive dissonance - in other words, conflicting attitudes, beliefs, values or behaviours which often result in varying degrees of discomfort or confusion – is undeniably a major reason for western society drifting further and further from anything resembling conscious, connected community. Could it be that we are passively – even at times actively - contributing to the decline of society, by refusing to take a good look at our media and peer instilled values and behaviours?
